Spam for Stupid People

people in strange German outfits

Seriously, how weird must you be to fall for this shit?

Normally spam is just annoying but today I got one that I cannot imagine anyone could be stupid enough to fall for. It was from Woody Allen, who apparently is a big yahoo fan because his email is and the reply to is . I guess it is not THAT Woody Allen because the real thing could probably afford  – although having the domain name could possibly set one up for a whole different type of spam email.

This Woody Allen apparently works at NCR Corporation. I am sure National Cash Registers is really interested in statistical consulting and has a lot of SAS and SPSS macros they want me to write for them. As they say, they “offer great interest to do a purchase agreement”. The fact that they can’t work a function to pull my name from a list or figure that the number 4 comes between 3 and 5 would never make me wonder if this was a real email.

From: Mr.Woody Allen <>

Subject: Please Quote.
Date: July 27, 2012 10:01:17 PM PDT



Having gone through your listed products, we offer great interest to do a purchase agreement with your company. Please get back to us with the following information

Please Quote.

1. Prices FOB
2. Payment terms
3. Delivery Period
5. Specified delivery date assuming from the Date of Order.

Please your quick reply will be highly appreciated


Mr. Woody Allen
Purchasing Operations Manager.
NCR Corporation


Just as the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math and cocaine is God’s way of telling you that  you’re making too much money, I believe spam like this is a penalty on stupid people who use the internet.

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One Comment

  1. You might enjoy this article from Microsoft Research that helps explain why spammers are so terrible:

    The upshot: “Since his attack has a low density of victims the Nigerian scammer has an over-riding need to reduce false positives. By sending an email that repels all but the most gullible the scammer gets the most promising marks to self-select, and tilts the true to false positive ratio in his favor.”

    Pretty funny stuff.

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