This post DOES relate to you, I am almost certain. Keep reading. As I type this post very slowly, I’m trying to use all 10 fingers. You see, for a few years, I had a real problem with my left thumb due to arthritis. It hurt so badly I couldn’t really use it at all and so I only used 9 fingers to type. This causes problems because my hands are in the wrong place on the key board so I quite often inadvertently do things like save bookmarks because I’m clicking on the mousepad with my palm. My right should her has problems from being in an odd position as I type. Now, here is the stupidity of all of this – MY THUMB IS FINE NOW. Last year, I had surgery called thumb arthoplasty and now I could type with all 10 fingers but it is such a habit to type with 9 that it is really hard to break and I have to consciously work at it. This 9-finger habit is probably like a lot of habits that cause you problems; 1) it came about because if I didn’t do it, it caused me pain, 2) I have had it for years, 3) I did it without thinking, even when it was no longer necessary, and 4) I have other options, but they’ll take effort to adopt.
Let me give you another example. Darling Daughter Number Three has made some serious money over the last few years. In her teens and early twenties, she was seriously broke and had to watch every dime. Last week, she was the keynote speaker at the Walk for Apraxia and she also substituted for me teaching my judo class.
Both times she had to make a 5-hour round trip in LA traffic and she was telling me how tired she was. I told her,
For the love of God, you make enough money, take a Lyft!
Okay, maybe you didn’t make millions of dollars last year or have a body part replaced. However, I think it’s very likely you have habits that are causing you problems. For example, I used to worry ALL of the time about damn near everything. One of my worries was money. I was always worried about money. Not in a healthy making sure we had enough in the bank to pay the bills way, but in an OH MY GOD IF WE GO ON VACATION WHAT IF I CAN’T GET ANY MORE CONSULTING CONTRACTS AND WE DON’T SELL ANY GAMES AND I END UP LIVING IN A DUMPSTER way. As a result, I hadn’t taken a vacation in years and worked every day but my Christmas. I know many people who are the same way. They won’t take time off, go to the dentist or they worry constantly when they do but their worries are far out of proportion to their actual situation. Once, they were poor and did have to worry about being homeless without that next paycheck. That time is long past but the habit is still there.
One last one, and this is maybe the most pervasive – the habit of not trusting anyone. Maybe you grew up in a very dysfunctional environment. If you showed any vulnerability at all people took advantage of you. They mocked you for being stupid if you didn’t know something. They told you that any goal you mentioned as beyond your capability. Now, you don’t admit it if you need help even though there are plenty of people around to help you. You act as if you don’t care whether you achieve something, be it college graduation, winning a medal or the next promotion – so people who would go to great efforts to help you get there don’t bother.
Anyway, my flight is boarding so I am sure you can think of your own examples. I was going to write about Fisher’s exact test today, but this idea of habits as been on my mind a lot lately.